Posted on 2019.01.14
There are a lot of people who believe Clients book dates with a Companion because they wouldn’t be able to date a woman like us otherwise. Those people just don’t get it.
One of my Clients explained to me why he preferred Companions and I thought I’d share some of his thoughts.
My client was (and is) a prominent man in his industry. He got to where he was through a combination of, brilliance, hard work, and very long hours. Most days are spent in his office growing his company and most nights are spent networking, or just working some more. A work day is easily 14 to 16 hours, and work was seven days a week. This meant that he had very little time for a regular social life.
Please do not feel bad for him. He has a “work now, play later” plan that will allow him to retire at 50 and live very comfortably. But he’s realistic about what this plan means for him today. Meeting a woman right now and expecting her to “fit” into his life would be unfair but at the same time, why should he deny himself life’s pleasures when he does have the time for it?
The day of our date, we met at 2:30 that afternoon. He woke up that morning, and saw that three hour planning session with his team had to be postponed. He had a choice: he could fill in those three hours with more work, or he could book time with a Companion. What woman in a dating situation would want a man to call them up at 6 am to say, “hey let’s go out”? Not many. In my personal life, I wouldn’t accept an invite like that, even if I knew this was the kind of schedule he kept. However, between the two of us, this is work, this is the nature of our work, and it works for us.
Another reason he chooses Companions is because he knows what to expect. When your time is limited, it becomes precious. For him, it made no sense to spend what precious time he had swiping left and right, having awkward first date coffees, or having silent dinners, only to come home and feel like the time spent was somehow wasted. If he had more free time, he would spend it swiping and having coffees but this way, the time he spends with me is guaranteed.
These guarantees also put him more at ease. When you take away the uncertainties you also take away insecurities. With me, he can relax and be himself. He doesn’t have to be the “better” version, he doesn’t have to try and impress me – although he still does do that. He doesn’t have to be “on”. If he’s having a bad day and wants to vent about it, he knows he can or, he’s in the mood to celebrate, he knows I’ll have the sparklers ready for him.
If it’s simply just Friday night and he wants to relax a little, he knows exactly we are just a call or a click away.
Our dates are a release valve and a way for him to de-stress. When he is on a date with me or another Companion, he gives himself the luxury of unplugging from his life. It’s the only time he turns off his phone and tells his assistant that he’s completely unavailable. He gets a kick out of having this secret indulgence as well. No one in his work life knows where he is or what he’s doing. He’s told a couple of close friends about it because he’s suggested that they indulge in the same way – which they have by the way – and they too see the benefits of spending time with us. In a world where it’s easy to put a price on everything, he sees the time spent with us as a wise investment; but we’re not treated like things.
One day, the woman he ends up with will be thankful that he spent this time with us to keep his social skills sharp. He understands that he needs to be a suitor, not a customer and he wants to be a suitor. He makes efforts to remember the little things, like a favorite cocktail, or to wear preferred cologne. He tries not to repeat locations for dates, and never talks down to any of us.
He knows that he needs to put in the work to impress a Companion, and I assure you that for all of us who have spent time with him, he is very impressive! Thoughtful, caring, and many would be surprised to know he’s quite funny – as in tears rolling down your face funny. It’s such a contract to his work life where he’s usually seen as serious and intimidating, but if those other people could only see what we see?
One day they will.
Until then, I’m happy to see his name pop up on the schedule.
Photo by Ethan Hoover on Unsplash