Posted on 2022.04.20

Have you ever wondered what we REALLY think of you? Are you worried about how you measure up to other Gentleman, or other men in our lives? We know you do.

But you shouldn’t worry about that.

I’m going to let you in on a secret: not every Gentleman we meet is going to be our “type”.

Here’s another secret: that’s how life works sometimes.

We can’t – and should try to not – control what others think of us. When we all first started dating or interacting with each other, we often came from a negative space. Little girls are told to stay away from boys, and little boys are told to chase girls but don’t chase the ones who let themselves be caught in a game of kissing tag. By the time we become adults, we don’t know all the rules and we realize we didn’t have much instruction or education.

I became a Companion after years of unlearning the negativity and becoming more positive about all the areas of my life. I was raised very sheltered and was told a lot of “no” while never learning what my “yes’s” were. I got married VERY young and divorced not long after. It was in the years after my divorce where I learned the power of yes AND no.

I learned that what a LOT of people in my world would say no to, I say yes to over and over again. I love to explore and discover new things, meet new people, and have new experiences. Those are just some of the reasons women become Companions. Experience, discovery, and exploration are things that can’t be done with the same type of people over and over.

So as a Companion, I get opportunities that I wouldn’t be able to if I just stayed in my little world and my little bubble. If my parents back home had ANY idea what I did with my free time, they would lose their minds. I have a “regular” job like most of you and when I want to have fun, I get to do so. I’ve travelled to places I wouldn’t normally get to see, thanks to a few lovely Gentlemen who like to travel with a Companion. I get to put my extensive wine knowledge to use (mom would at least be proud of that), enjoy the arts, and live the life I fantasized about; the life I was told I should say “no” to.

Do I ever say “no” to a Gentleman? Yes. Sometimes, I just didn’t feel there was any chemistry between us and there have been times where I have even recommended another Companion to a Gentleman while we are still on our date. Some men fall for the appearance and try again and to be fair, I will go on a second, but if the chemistry isn’t there, I will say no to a third. I say no to certain activities (I’m looking at you Mr. Saturday Afternoon Hike!), but I know that each “no” is leaving room for a yes – for both of us. Why spend time (and money) and not get all that you desire? Especially when there are options.

That is the beauty of my life: we don’t have to fit things to be a certain way to satisfy just one idea. We can give ourselves the permission to explore other ideas within the safe boundaries our world creates. We can try new experiences, meet all kinds of people, and say yes to things we desire and no to the things we don’t.

I never say no right away though. When we meet, I may find things about you that I don’t normally look for, but then I remind myself that I already know what to expect with what I normally look for and I start to look for other things in that Gentleman. This positive approach has led to me to have some wonderful experiences that I wouldn’t have had the pleasure of if I had said no. For me, chemistry goes beyond looks and the right chemistry can change a date completely.

So the next time you worry about not being tall enough, or too big, or too heavy or too small, or not smart enough, or not funny enough to spend time with me, remember that you only need to worry about whether or not I say yes.

Think about it: If I’m there with you, you already got that first yes.

Photo by Unsplash

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